Aren't We All Good Moms?
It seems like having a motherhood mantra is all the rage these days. Without intentionally meaning to, I realized recently that I have my own mantra I use when I'm feeling stressed out as a mom. Here it is:
I am a good mother.
That's it. It sounds simple, and it is, but I love to remind myself of it. I noticed before I became a mom that so many women around me would say things like, "I stopped nursing my son at 7 months. I know, I'm a bad mom." Or something like, "For breakfast my daughter just had fruit snacks. I'm such a bad mom but it was easy and quick." When I heard stuff like this I would think, "They can't really believe they're bad moms because of that. That does not make them a bad mother!" I vowed that I would never call myself that after I had kids.
But once I had James, I understood the feelings of inadequacy and the worry that go along with being a mother. I understood why women would call themselves a bad mother- to air the fear that they are messing it all up. But here's the thing: I lose my temper too. Sometimes I feed my son blueberries for dinner. Sometimes I let him pull all the towels out from under the bathroom sink so I can have peace while I do my make up. And none of this (or the hundred other things I do wrong) makes me a bad mother.
I do a ton of things right- as does almost every mom. I tell my son I love him, I sing him songs and teach him how to do "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes." I read him a million books a day, make sure he gets his nap, and give him plenty of tickles. I shoo him away from the hot oven, and teach him to put dirty clothes in the hamper and blocks back in the basket.
And when I do feel frustrated or when he lays on the floor and screams like a crazy person, I remind myself that I am a good mother. It keeps me calm and helps me rise to the challenge of mothering and nurturing. Because I'm trying and I'm loving and I'm working hard to raise this person. Isn't that what we're all doing? Aren't we all good moms?