Five Years

Earlier this month, Brock and I celebrated our fifth year of marriage. I have learned so much this past year about Christ-like love, and much of it has come from Brock and how he helped me with my depression.

Brock was there for me in private and mostly unseen ways. There was one night I remember where I needed him to hold me and talk through all my problems and feelings while I cried and cried. When I felt comforted, I fell asleep while he stayed up for over an hour to work. The next morning, I realized he had sacrificed his sleep for me. He was bleary-eyed and tired because he knew I needed him, and he was there for me.

He helped me figure out that I needed medical help, and gave me the courage I needed to talk to my doctor.When I got home after being prescribed antidepressants, I cried to Brock because I felt like I had failed myself in not being able to get out of this depression on my own. He hugged me and reassured me instantly by saying, "When you're sick you need medicine. That's all there is to it."

He showed me time and time again how much I meant to him and how much he was willing to do for me. One day when I absolutely was breaking down- James hadn't napped, I hadn't napped, and I couldn't handle it- I sent him frantic texts about how I couldn't stop crying. He responded, "I'm coming home." He came home from his office at 2 in the afternoon and helped me into bed, where I napped for three hours while he took care of a cranky James. He then worked the rest of the evening and into the night to catch up.

There were countless little things he did for me, like taking over the cleaning and cooking when I couldn't handle it, and making sure I got naps. When my anxiety would cause me to have panic attacks at the thought of teaching our Sunday School class for the 8-year-olds, he would calmly take over and teach the lesson for me.

I know the experience was hard on him. I wasn't myself for so long and I know it was draining. One day, when we had been out running some errands, we were driving home along a new way. The windows were down, we could see the ocean, and it was beautiful out. I was having a good day and we were laughing together nonstop. Brock reached over and squeezed my hand and said, "We are good together."

And I appreciated that reassurance, because the hard times seemed so endless and the struggles seemed insurmountable. But we did it, because we are good together and we always will be.


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